How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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