like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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