He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
