Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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