but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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