The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
