Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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