All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
