Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
