how can u be prego again
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
