I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
