69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
