just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
