Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
