I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
