I must be too annoying 4 u.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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