If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
