something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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