Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize