Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
