i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
