Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
