I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
