her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
