Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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