My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
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At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
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She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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