I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
