We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
