Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
