So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
