Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
