Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
