I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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