sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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