in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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