a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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