you have to choose: penises or morals?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
