Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
