are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
