Just cropdusted the office
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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