So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
