i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
