Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
