This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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