I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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