I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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