he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize