My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All I want is dick and wine.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize