Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
There's even glitter on my cock...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
