So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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