Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
