just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
