I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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