Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
