Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
