puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
bring money and cleavage
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize