did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize